Well this baby is proving to be difficult already.This is our second attempt at a 3-D ultrasound. The first time we went, four weeks ago, he was head up and both of his hands were in front of his face. For those of you that don't know, a 3-D ultrasound is done by first doing the image in a regular medical type 2-D ultrasound and then this machine turns it into 3-D so you, in most cases, can see the actual features of your baby. Unfortunately today eventhough he has turned head down, he is snuggled against my placenta on one side and had his arm up by his head on the other side. Also, the reason the bridge of his nose looks high is because he has some umbilical cord up near his face. So, when we would have come home with a video, a CD full of images and four to six pictures we came home with this one and nothing else.
Another reason I refer to my dear second child as difficult, is that yesterday I found out I am hypo-glycemic. The doctor said it is not dangerous or harmful to the pregnancy but I need to watch my diet so I will feel better. Ok, so this is not a big deal but let me go on.
Number three is the fact that we can't settle on a name. Parts of my family will be surprised at this because we thought we had a name but now I am not so sure. We can't decide what is the right name for our fourth and probably final son to be named for his entire life. We have a million girl names, but that is probably because none of those have been used. So, of course everybody almost everyday wants to know "what the baby's name is" or "have you picked a name yet" and the answer is always a sad "no". I am almost starting to panic because I don't like not being prepared and I am feeling guilty that he is not being personalized before he gets here. People say that when you see him you will know his name but what happens if we don't. I don't want the person at the hospital who wants to type up the birth certificate and order his social security card to be standing there tapping their foot impatiently, just after I have given birth, while I agonize over which name suits him best for HIS WHOLE LIFE and Jim is saying "I don't care pick one".
Also yesterday at the doctor his heart beat was a little slow. They put me on the monitor and everything seems fine, but it is still another hitch in my saddle to worry about.
He is so active, I swear he is moving ALL OF THE TIME. There is hardly a time in the day that I don't feel sharp kicks and jabs to my side and ribs. I should feel lucky and I do, but I am already horribly uncomfortable with the heat and and the movement sometimes I wish I could have a break.
Although it is not his fault but being pregnant in the middle of summer is not my ideal situation either.
I also have been having braxton hicks (early contractions) everyday, all day for a few weeks now. One night while Jim was gone they started to get painful and that freaked me out because eventhough he could probably survive being born now, ten weeks early, there would be a lot of set backs in his early developement.
Ean's pregnancy and birth were so perfect I just don't like anything to be different than what I consider "normal". Ean was easy to carry, easy to give birth to, easy to take care of as a little baby and only now is he starting to be a pain, which is "normal" too. Even the name "Ean" came easy to us. I didn't have any problems with my pregnancy- no, "watch your diets", "oh lets look at that heart beat again"or "I'm sorry we can't get a good picture, he is not cooperating". It is all just adding up.
Ask anyone, I am not a complainer so this post is difficult for me to write but I am starting to get fed up with all of the crap already and just want him to be born healthy and happy. I worry so much sometimes that something will go wrong, since there is no shortage of horror stories out there. Then, of course I think about the horror stories and feel guilty for bitching about such trivial things. Anyway, with all of that and me showing you what is so hard for me to show, enjoy the picture and when we try for the last time to get a good picture in two more weeks I will share our findings about the little precious bundle of joy that is inside me.
3 comments:
Lindsay thank you for your post! I know this sounds strange but it made my day. Now that I am sitting here with my belly full of castor oil and a stubborn baby of my own I don't feel "alone." Maybe tomorrow we will have our own baby pictures to share, BUT our little guy doesn't want to show off for the camera just quite yet either. More then likely I'll be back at my Dr's office on monday. Who would have thought these little guys could be so difficult before they are even here!
I am sorry about the ultrasound pictures. Thanks for posting what you did get. I think he is beautiful. I didn't even notice the nose / umbilical cord thing. I didn't get to do a 3-d ultrasound, by the time we found out about them it was late in the pregnancy. Don't worry about complaining to me. I'm the worlds best complainer. (Ask Kari) I crybaby to her all the time. I hope Ean gives you more cooperation this weekend. I do know about this. Colby is a little Lisa (Angry, Mad and you can never do it good enough for him) I hope it really is a stage for him. I don't want him to end up so picky and p-oed all the time.
Yes, I am surprised about the name change...but one of the priveleges of being a parent is that whatever name you are going to hang on your children for their "whole life"...gets to be of your own choosing, and no one elses.
It doesn't matter if you named the little guy Mac McGoo...he would be a well loved grandchild born to wonderful parents.
Who could be more lucky than that?
I wish there was something I could do to make this journey through pregnancy a better experience than it has been for you...but all I can do is note that this little guy is already determined to be his own little person.
Even with four children, it never ceases to amaze me how different each personality is...and how unique each one of you are as human beings. Sometimes it is difficult to note that you are brothers and sisters.
This little guy is already carving out his own place in ther world, and is already challenging you to see him completely different than you do Ean.
It's surely no fun to go through your last days of pregnancy during the blazing inferno...and I recall mine with David like it was yesterday...with his birth August 20. Fortunately, it was an experience I only had to have once.
My prayer is for the little guy to come into this old world a healthy bundle of joy...and for you, my daughter, to bounce back quickly from the drain on your body's resources.
That is all that matters to me...so if you name him 'spike'...then, 'spike' it shall be! God Bless you and he...and Dada.
Love, Mom
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